Monday, February 04, 2008

How to understand and heal emotions

There is a lot of misunderstanding about emotional pain and it is often seen as something is wrong with us and we should resist, overcome and deny the negative. The key question is about emotional pain as the block to realization.

This seems to be the greatest and most baffling point in all spiritual seekers. There is often struggle against feeling lonely, sad, angry, fearful and negative. This struggle perpetuates the undesirable feeling and further blocks the connection to Being.

Emotions are simply thoughts that have become so real to the thinker that they manifest as body sensations resulting often in anxiety feelings, panic attacks, tremor, shaking, palpitations and trembling, shock and other physical symptoms. If we were to fully understand what emotions are we would be free. Nothing need be done about emotions but to understand three things.

1. There is only BEING since you are a human being. You are a Being playing the human role. However, since you do not know this fact then you interpret pure feeling of Being as negative. How? Simply because you see yourself as separate person and therefore the pure feeling from Being becomes a threat to the ego’s survival and, from our instinct of survival, which is our primal instinct, will come the defense and protection against what we perceive as this threat. For example, let’s say you ask yourself “who am I?” Chances are you will say (if you are honest) “I don’t know.” This I don’t know is valid answer because there is in truth no person to answer such a question. If we see clearly that there is no person to answer it then we glimpse our vastness and greatness of Being. We experience great joy and ecstasy. If we perceive this vastness as a threat to this individual ego idea then it feels like loneliness, deprivation which, often translates into, “nobody loves me” or “there is something wrong with me” or “I feel unwanted and do not belong.” This belonging is a natural pure feeling since we are One Being. However, if you see yourself as an ego (which is a lie) then the feeling is horrifying and you feel like nobody wants you or feel like you don’t belong. Being is One and therefore there is a natural tendency to want to belong. It is our very heart that feels this natural inclination.

2. We seek pure feeling as a person. Since we are unaware that we are primarily Being then we emphasize the human as all there is. You are a human being. There are 6 billion humans on this earth but there is only Being. 100% of everything you want, need, seek, crave and dream about is Being but haven’t realized it yet. For example, why do you want a big car? Isn’t it the feeling of power? Why do we want power? Isn’t it because our Being is power itself? Why do we want a relationship or sex (or both)? Isn’t it because it gives us a feeling of being loved and belonging? Isn’t love and belonging Being itself?

3. Misinterpretation leads to personal emotional pain. All negative emotions, and in fact, all emotional suffering, period, is misinterpretation of Being. We are pulled towards love, joy, happiness, power, belonging, warmth and freedom. These are pure feelings (which means they are qualityless qualities of pure being). We seek them in ‘things’ ‘objects’ and people. However, no matter what form they take, it is always Being that we seek and want above everything else. We haven’t realized it yet that our Being is our true Beloved One and we see it in our lover for a short time, we see it in our new car or new computer or in our money. All personal attachments eventual crumble but the attachments, needs and desires do not o away because we are after Being without knowing it. It is only when we start seeing this that we permanently transform our emotional pain into great joy.

We heal our emotional pain through acceptance, forgiveness and understanding that it is the misinterpretation of Being that is happening. Therefore when we start using Being to see what is taking place, it leads us back to our natural state. For example, if you feel lonely then experience the gut-wrenching pain in your body and notice its action without indulging in the story. (The story is itself the misinterpretation). Notice where the love is in this feeling with full acceptance of what is happening. You’ll notice the positive change happening when you are sincere and it is worth every second you devote to this clear seeing.

Here are a list of feelings that ‘become’ negative emotions when personal attachment takes over…
Pure Feeling -- Personal attachment

Oneness -- Loneliness

Love -- Neediness

Belonging -- Feel Unwanted

Intimacy -- Fear of intimacy

Freedom -- Guilt

Joy -- Sadness

Warmth -- Flatness or dryness

Expression of Being -- Intellectual talk about it

With love, Burt

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