“I have allowed my anger but it is not healed…”
“I am so frustrated because the more I allow, the worse things get.”
When people come up with questions like these, it is obvious that they are confusing Allowing with Indulgence. And, there is a vast difference between the two. In fact, they are opposite.
Someone wrote to me and said, “I know I am angry but it’s okay.” They believe somehow that they are allowing it. They are in contradiction but do not know it and that’s how frustration happens. Anger means strictly, “This is not okay!” and when they say, “It’s okay when I am angry…” they are simply placating the situation and hoping for approval, but the fact of the matter is, they are frustrated and still angry.
The law of love, which is also the law of allowing, is pure energy. Energy is never bad or good – it is simply energy and it is our mind which makes turns it into anger through resistance and control. Thus to allow means that it is okay to let the energy be what it is, however, it is imperative to see that it is the mind and its judgment that is turning it into something wrong or not okay!! The moment we allow, then all resistance inherent in the anger is neutralized and so where’s the anger?
When anger rises in you, there is a need to express this energy. Energy can either express through violence or through sublimation. Violence is an unconscious act of carrying out the insanity of the ego to control external circumstances around you. Sublimation, on the other hand, is a conscious act of looking at this immense anger energy and then using it to increase your ability to feel joy and love.
It is true that in moments of anger there is no love, but when the being is desirous of growth then there could be, through conscious effort, a way to see this anger energy as a means of increasing one’s capacity to feel. It is done this way – as anger arises you become immediately aware of this moving force in your body. Sit with it for a moment by taking a deep breath and seeing how powerful such energy is. As you breathe into it you start moving it into the direction of love rather than resentment. HOW!? Again, your very awareness of allowing is so powerful that you do not direct this energy to be loving, it just becomes so when there is conscious allowing of such a force.
Here’s an example, I had a client who was so angry most of the time that he lost his wife and children plus his job. He came to me as a last resort because he didn’t want to take tranquilizers or any sedative drugs. Although intelligent he wasn’t aware of these spiritual laws of allowing and acceptance and I had no intention of explaining them to him. When he asked me, “I want to get rid of my anger” in an angry tone I knew that this man needed action, not words. I replied, “Why get rid of anger when you can channel it into greater capacity to feel love?” He didn’t understand and I expected that, but my reply was enough to intrigue him and stop him from his need to control. Control, after all, is often a big issue with angry people. I had him lie down and relax is body enough to understand what is going on consciously in his body. I asked him to recall his latest outburst of anger and its projection that hurt his loved ones. He was filled with guilt and regret which fueled his self-anger (self-hate). Then I suggested that he tells me how he felt in his body. He was expressive and easily elaborated on his sensations such as fast heart-beat, stomach churning, heavy breathing, clenching fists and a tight body like a drum. Having expressed his sensations rather than his story, he was able to follow these sensations with awareness. I asked him to breathe into these sensations and give them a picture such as a shape and color. He was able to visualize his sensations very well. Then, after a while I asked him to feel how much energy was being used in such an experience and to see this energy not as a loss but as fuel for his feelings. I asked him if he loved his children and to visualize such an energy as a great overwhelming love that spewed forth from his eyes and aura. He started to cry, actually sob, which was a wonderful release of the poisonous substance of anger while still retaining its energy through visualizing it turning into a great love.
To make a long session into a short one, after over two hours, he was a changed man. He had learned to channel such energy into a positive force. He was also able to see (inside himself) not a separation but a connection. I gave him a technique of squeezing his three first fingers of the right hand (he was right-handed) every time he felt anger rising. To squeeze his fingers to the equivalent of the anger he felt. Then I asked him to breathe into this energy while very slowly releasing the pressure of the fingers (taking about a minute for the complete release.) The release became automatically the release of the anger while still retaining full live-energy into his body. The result was such a magnetic result that his wife took him back and found a great job. He is still a powerful being using what was anger as the catalyst for love of himself and others.