Transform anger into Love!

“I have allowed my anger but it is not healed…”

“I am so frustrated because the more I allow, the worse things get.”

When people come up with questions like these, it is obvious that they are confusing Allowing with Indulgence. And, there is a vast difference between the two. In fact, they are opposite.

Someone wrote to me and said, “I know I am angry but it’s okay.” They believe somehow that they are allowing it. They are in contradiction but do not know it and that’s how frustration happens. Anger means strictly, “This is not okay!” and when they say, “It’s okay when I am angry…” they are simply placating the situation and hoping for approval, but the fact of the matter is, they are frustrated and still angry.

Let’s first understand anger. Anger is a plain assertion that, “It is not okay!” In other words, it is resistance to what-is. It is a desire not to have it this way. Allowing, on the other hand, really means that all energy is okay once it is allowed as the energy that it is. We do not realize that what makes something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ is our interpretation of energy. Anger is simply a rejection of what-is and thus plainly making it wrong. Therefore the energy becomes violent internally or externally. Violence simply means to violate the law of love. The law of love is rejected when we resist anything and make it “not okay.”

The law of love, which is also the law of allowing, is pure energy. Energy is never bad or good – it is simply energy and it is our mind which makes turns it into anger through resistance and control. Thus to allow means that it is okay to let the energy be what it is, however, it is imperative to see that it is the mind and its judgment that is turning it into something wrong or not okay!! The moment we allow, then all resistance inherent in the anger is neutralized and so where’s the anger?

Let us repeat, allowing, known as The Law of Allowing, is a way of seeing energy as a movement. Anger is resistance saying, “I don’t like this!” “I want to control this!” and allowing says, “This energy of anger is a moving force and I can use it to increase my love.” HOW!? This is the big question.

When anger rises in you, there is a need to express this energy. Energy can either express through violence or through sublimation. Violence is an unconscious act of carrying out the insanity of the ego to control external circumstances around you. Sublimation, on the other hand, is a conscious act of looking at this immense anger energy and then using it to increase your ability to feel joy and love.

It is true that in moments of anger there is no love, but when the being is desirous of growth then there could be, through conscious effort, a way to see this anger energy as a means of increasing one’s capacity to feel. It is done this way – as anger arises you become immediately aware of this moving force in your body. Sit with it for a moment by taking a deep breath and seeing how powerful such energy is. As you breathe into it you start moving it into the direction of love rather than resentment. HOW!? Again, your very awareness of allowing is so powerful that you do not direct this energy to be loving, it just becomes so when there is conscious allowing of such a force.

Here’s an example, I had a client who was so angry most of the time that he lost his wife and children plus his job. He came to me as a last resort because he didn’t want to take tranquilizers or any sedative drugs. Although intelligent he wasn’t aware of these spiritual laws of allowing and acceptance and I had no intention of explaining them to him. When he asked me, “I want to get rid of my anger” in an angry tone I knew that this man needed action, not words. I replied, “Why get rid of anger when you can channel it into greater capacity to feel love?” He didn’t understand and I expected that, but my reply was enough to intrigue him and stop him from his need to control. Control, after all, is often a big issue with angry people. I had him lie down and relax is body enough to understand what is going on consciously in his body. I asked him to recall his latest outburst of anger and its projection that hurt his loved ones. He was filled with guilt and regret which fueled his self-anger (self-hate). Then I suggested that he tells me how he felt in his body. He was expressive and easily elaborated on his sensations such as fast heart-beat, stomach churning, heavy breathing, clenching fists and a tight body like a drum. Having expressed his sensations rather than his story, he was able to follow these sensations with awareness. I asked him to breathe into these sensations and give them a picture such as a shape and color. He was able to visualize his sensations very well. Then, after a while I asked him to feel how much energy was being used in such an experience and to see this energy not as a loss but as fuel for his feelings. I asked him if he loved his children and to visualize such an energy as a great overwhelming love that spewed forth from his eyes and aura. He started to cry, actually sob, which was a wonderful release of the poisonous substance of anger while still retaining its energy through visualizing it turning into a great love.

To make a long session into a short one, after over two hours, he was a changed man. He had learned to channel such energy into a positive force. He was also able to see (inside himself) not a separation but a connection. I gave him a technique of squeezing his three first fingers of the right hand (he was right-handed) every time he felt anger rising. To squeeze his fingers to the equivalent of the anger he felt. Then I asked him to breathe into this energy while very slowly releasing the pressure of the fingers (taking about a minute for the complete release.) The release became automatically the release of the anger while still retaining full live-energy into his body. The result was such a magnetic result that his wife took him back and found a great job. He is still a powerful being using what was anger as the catalyst for love of himself and others.

I hope that this short article has answered your questions about Allowing, Acceptance, Surrender and Forgiveness. These are the keys to transformation while increasing your capacity to love and to experience joy in living.

Free-will and non-volition

Throughout my readings of non-duality I have come across the writings stating that free-will and freedom of choice do not exist. Does this mean that all actions are pre-determined by Oneness? What about criminals and drug-addicts for example? Can't they just decide to stop doing what they are doing? Or is it this way because they have no choice in the matter and have to follow their 'script'?
Could you please clarify these points?

Non-duality deals with ultimate Reality. Ultimate Reality is what is true in the ultimate sense. Most people who read non-duality get confused because it is not their own level of awareness and so try to understand with their mind. Understanding with the mind is like trying to figure out the territory through looking at a map of it. It can't be done.

Let's start with the basics. You are a human being. The first thing you know is the human-part and its memory. Most people live and pass away without knowing anything deeper than that. The human-part is a 'becoming-process.' It has a beginning, middle and end. It is always striving, seeking, wanting, needing but never arriving going in circles. What is it seeking? What does it really want? What is the end goal of the human? Believe it or not, it is its own 'Being.' The 'Being' is perfect love and always lives NOW. It is fresh, innocent, happy, relaxed, allowing, forgiving, accepting and contented simply because it is pure BEING!! The human believes that happiness, power, fulfillmnt comes from outside through the world and thus never gets fulfilled.

Let's take it one step further by understand the difference between SOUL and SPIRIT. The human is the soul and the Being is the Spirit. The soul is eternal just like the Spirit. To understand this better, picture the One Ocean as the Spirit. Then picture the waves upon the surface of the ocean as different and separate souls. The waves are unique, separate and have different expressions but they are still the One Ocean. Similarly with us -- we seem to be separate and different souls but yet are ALREADY SPIRIT but do not yet know it. The soul goes from lifetime to lifetime repeating this pattern learning from its many journeys until it merges with the Spirit and realize it has never gone anywhere but HERE. The soul evolves and learns but the Spirit is always NOW and perfect. While the soul moves in time, the Spirit is forever timeless.
There are over 6 billion humans on this earth but there is only One Being. This One Being is the 'I' -- the human calls itself 'I' also but makes it separate, different and personal. As the soul evolves it automatically begins to awaken to its grandeur and vastness never losing that sense of 'I' until it sees that we are all ONE BEING. This One Being is the ultimate Truth.

When you read about non-duality you are reading the ultimate truth of your nature, which is of course confusing to the mind. However, as you keep the mind open (which means empty of opinions, beliefs, concepts and memories) then in that emptiness of mind there is the opening to see deeper than the mere ego. When you keep asking, "Who am I?" in this now-moment your ego will rebel because there is no answer to it. It will feel lost as if losing its preconceived identity which in truth never really existed. The ego believes strongly that this personal 'I' is the me-idea as separate body. However, this 'I' which seems personal is really Oneness itself looking and living as 'you.' It is mind-boggling isn't it?

I am a hypnotherapist and when people come to see me with deep emotional pain I take them back to the source of their problem. It often leads to a past life incident that is carried over in the cellular memory of the body. The moment they see clearly the source of the problem they are healed. This would seem that we all have past lives and it also seems that past lives run into the thousands as the soul evolves with each lifetime learning its lessons in love. These lifetimes seem as real as your lifetime right now. Therefore, if you believe you are living a lifetime right now then you have also lived before. It is really as simple as that. However again, as you begin to awaken to the possibility that there is only NOW, you will start to realize that there is only NOW, which also means that there is no 'you' but NOW itself appearing as YOU. Did you get that? If not, read it again and again until you get it!!

Once my 'clients' start to realize that NOW is their true aware-presence and it is all one, then their unconditional love awakens and they are freed from personal bondage (ego).

I used to believe that I had many choices and was often confused by so many decisions. I was always inquisitive by nature and so questioned the 'decision-factor' itself. Finally I realized that I had only two choices -- to follow truth or falsehood. In other words, there were only two choices between truth and falsehood. Then it struck me that I must be crazy to choose falsehood consciously and deliberately. The moment I chose Truth I realized that there was no choice at all. The Truth has always been the One Choice but didn't know it.
This led me to know that there's only One Will -- the Will of the Divine Oneness. The Will of the divine is goodness, love, peace, joy, harmony, happiness and everything that was fulfilling. So, I had the realization that the One Will of God was also my own Will. They were One. Gradually I began to see that there is only Oneness playing the role of Burt and this happened in the year 2000. Everything became crystal clear.

I continue doing hypnotherapy which I now call "Supersentience" -- Supersentience is more effective than ever because it deals with Quantum Forgiveness. We do not forgive another but ourselves and within that self-forgiveness there is healing to the 'other.'

How about the drug-addict and the criminal? They are karmically hooked into their predicament created by their own actions in the past. Oneness is ONE -- therefore if I hurt you in some way, I have to carry the burden of that pain I caused you in myself to learn compassion and forgiveness. Do you get that? The criminal is hooked into his/her own personal life of greed and selfishness and that carries with it tremendous pain and suffering. The suffering is not punishment imposed by oneness but by oneself through unawareness of oneness (love). When the soul (which is eternal) recognizes its oneness with All-That-Is then it merges with Spirit and there is no longer reincarnation or suffering, but it also realizes the ultimate -- there never was suffering and separate lifetimes. There is only NOW eternally living as YOU!!

Regarding booklet "The Secret of Knowing."

I am just curious. In your booklet "The Secret of Knowing" which is given in your website, you emphasized reading it all, from start to finish, in one sitting. I hope you don't mind me asking, but why was that necessary?

In order to give you all the facts I have to talk about the two hemispheres of the brain. We have two parts in our brain system that are opposite each other, but necessary for survival. One is the left-brain hemisphere and the other is the right-brain hemisphere. They are attached but have separate functions.
The left-brain is necessary to live in this world of material existence and therefore it is linear motivated by the instinct of survival. Most people are driven by the left-brain. It focuses on details rather than the whole picture. In other words, it doesn't see the forest for the trees. And, it only goes 'out' for answers to questions and lives externally. The left-brain is ego-motivated.
On the other hand, we have a Right-Brain that is egoless. This brain hemisphere sees the whole picture but has no personal agenda and therefore no pre-occupation with survival. It is innocent, open and feels the oneness naturally with all creatures and humans alike. Its nature is love and joy like the child or kitten and puppy. Yet, it has natural wisdom due to the knowing of connectedness.
As you can see from the above, you are a human being. The human is left-brained motivated while the 'Being' is right-brained motivated. To live as a human-being requires both aspects of the brain. But, as you can see, living in this world requires emphasis on the left-brain. This emphasis, unfortunately, blocks our receptivity to our natural state of spirit. After all, Spirit IS the Reality itself.
Due to this emphasis on the Left-brain to live in this world, we acquire doubts, fears, uncertainties and are often seeking and questioning without getting closer to the Truth. The reason the left-brain misses the truth is simply because it tries to find an answer to the question. And, there are no answers to satisfy the left-brain. The 'answer' lies in the right-brain as innocence, openness, vulnerability, wisdom and whole-seeing.

Now, we come to the booklet -- why read it without stopping until the end is reached? First is because a complete focus is needed to remain uninterrupted. Secondly the booklet emphasized right-brain activity throughout, for instance, it emphasized 'knowing' by making it large capital letters thus "KNOWER". This unconsciously brought the whole-seeing brain hemisphere into action when there was no interruption by the left brain's need to conclude, reach answers and so on. The booklet kept emphasizing, "Do not reach for an answer but understand the question." This is something that the left-brain is NOT ready to do. It wants to know right away and reaches its own conclusions without reflection on the question itself. In other words, the left-brain wants to know that it knows and is impatient; it tries to figure out, to think-about-it and to stick to its belief system. So, by the time the reader reaches half-way through the book it automatically stops with the intention of reading the rest later. This is the trick of the left-brain when it gets tired due to too much thinking.

With the right-brain it is a completely different process...it actually enjoys the booklet, gets inspired and wants to keep on reading. I had sent out several hundred copies of this booklet in PDF and received just three emails telling me of insights, recognitions and realizations after reading the whole thing. It seems that most did not finish the whole thing in one sitting.
I am glad you asked the question because left-brained people always want to know why and nearly always have a ready-made answer (unconscious to their immediate awareness). So, if one didn't finish reading the whole thing it is because the left-brain got tired and found some excuse to finish it later (which, of course, blocked the major premise of the booklet's value.)

The question is, "How do we awaken the Right-Brain while maintaining our left-brain for worldly survival?"
Since the Right-brain is whole-seeing and feels the natural connection to all things, it is imperative that one starts LOOKING WITH HEART at such things as trees, clouds, flowers, grass, stars and feel their beauty. There are many ways to activate right-brain...

* Once or twice a day give up the usual ways of doing things. For instance, if you are right-handed, then write with left-hand or draw with it (to upset the logical linear and conditioned left-brain). Be aware of your 'thinking-about-it' (whatever it is) and start looking innocently. If your brain asks, "But how can I do that?" then see how even in right-brain activity the left-brain intrudes and interrupts. To the Right-Brain there is no 'how' or 'why' but simply what-is right here and now. To the right-brain everything is simple and direct.
When questions arise -- STOP -- look at the question and understand what you are asking and NEVER look for an answer to it. For instance, if the left-brain asks, "Does God exist?" it goes in search for an answer by dwelling on it and trying to figure it out. Activate the right-brain by asking another question, "What do I mean by God?" and then FEEL OUT what YOU mean by that word or what it means to you. Labels are NEVER the thing itself anymore than the map is the territory.
Another way to activate the right-brain is through FEELING (Pure feeling & not emotional). For instance, look at the grass or a tree and write down how you feel in a poetic writing; see its beauty and grandeur.
When the left-brain keeps raising questions, write them down and before reaching for any answers, look at the questions and understand what you really mean by them.
Look with innocence and awe, see the wonder of a pregnant woman and the fetus inside that is soon to be a human being. Where does the soul come from to enter that fetus? Then, do not answer it but allow it to remain open until your heart (Right-brain) will give you insights.

All knowledge is within and although the left-brain wants to know that it knows, the right-brain is content to feel its awe and wonder.

How do you explain Oneness of Being?

How would you explain Oneness to someone like me who is totally caught in feeling separate?

Every one feels separate to some extent because there is the belief that we are memory. However, your true essence is the same like everyone else. So, what makes you think you are a personal being is the idea that you are just a body forgetting the life-force essence. You are a human being. There are 6 billion humans on this earth but only One Being. We have forgotten the Being. Once we reclaim the Being that we are, which is One, then we discover the ultimate truth.
Attached here is a brief talk by Deepak Chopra who answers your question plus a few others.
Enjoy...