"I want to be spiritually awake. This want is driving me crazy since it is all I want."
This sounds commendable and might even be sincere, but the fact is that it is the ego seeking in order to appease itself. The truth is this -- if the love of truth was a great fire then there is no wanting but Being. This flame for truth is enough for awakening. It will make you see what is truly obvious here and now. The Truth is the simplest thing in the world...it is simply awareness. Awareness is everything and nothing happens without awareness. There is no life without awareness. However, here's the crunch -- we identify with what we are aware-of. What you are aware-of is thought. To know the difference between thought and awareness is the understanding that is necessary since both thought and awareness need each other to live a life on earth.
Wanting is egoic and here's the truth about wanting...it blocks you from realization. Wanting creates a future time whereas BEING is here and now.
There are four wants in life. Each want creates in itself an equal and opposite action.
For example, if you wanted to be healthy then you'd be afraid of being unhealthy and your preoccupation would be to NOT BEING UNHEALTHY. Another instance is wanting to find love and spend most of your energy seeking it. When you find it you'll be afraid of losing it and at every turn find your greatest fear -- rejection of love.
If your wanting was to remain young and good-looking then you'd be afraid of growing old.
There are FOUR WANTS in Humanity:
1. Want control. Wanting control is the fear of not having control and acts like anger. Real control is direct experience of the anger and releasing it.
2. Want Love. Wanting love creates the feeling you don't have it and you keep giving your power away.
3. Want security/survival. This creates the nagging feeling of insecurity and the belief that life is dog-eat-dog.
4. Want Separation. This is the need to be special, self-important, better than... This creates its own egoic image and spent energy protecting an illusion.
You are a human being. This means that although there are over 6 billion humans on this earth, there is only One Being. This One Being is who you are. It is your essence. It is your truth. It is universal love. It is the 'I' of the collective universe. Just as the human is filled with 'wants' so is BEING being them. In other words, it is all about 'NOW.' If you want something than know that what you truly want is already the case in essence. Stop wanting and BE IT! If you don't know how to be -- then spend time sitting in stillness and asking your deepest essence who you are in this moment! "Who am I?" "What am I?" and if you are sincere and truly devoted to what is real and lasting (truth) then it will dawn on you -- inevitably!
Note: Email me and ask for the booklet "Awakening to Love and Freedom."