I have just watched your video-clip entitled "Sadness from Spiritual Seeking" and it struck a chord with me because I have seen much of it. Have visited many ashrams and witnessed the put-on bliss smiles and the veneer of holiness. Why is that so common among spiritual seekers?
The answer is simple -- there is no such thing as a spiritual seeker who lives in true joy. The very act of seeking creates the block to joy. Joy, which is the nature of pure being, is an innocence...the very ground of the spiritual life. Spiritual seeking implies there is something to find or get. In other words, we seek to find freedom, joy, peace, love and inner fulfillment combined with the concept of time. The very idea of attaining the awakened state implies a future time. The awakened state is this 'NOW' itself.
'NOW' beyond time is the feeling-knowing of our true nature, which often scares us. Ask yourself right now, "Who are you?" and in sincerity won't be able to answer it. Why? Simply because there is no answer because there is no 'you.' In this moment, without your past memory of name and form, there is only aware-space. You are that aware-space without an image or visible forms of locality. This is scary to the average ego. And so, pretend to know that we know by having read, studied and practiced for years. The result of this pretence is sadness brought about by unconfessed disillusionment, disappointment or the thought of not measuring up. All this, of course, is deeply hidden even from our own sight.
I have known so many Advaita followers throughout the years who know enough to write a book and answer all questions -- however, when it comes to the truth, there is no true joy and innocence in one's life which are the hallmarks of the awakened knowing. It takes humility to acknowledge one doesn't know the truth when the pretence had gone on for so many years. At the same time, it is this humility that can bring a breakthrough in clarity. Clarity is all that's needed for awakening.